Chitika

Thursday, January 11

The NY Times recently published a piece entitled "Questions Couples Should Ask Before Marrying", that was pointed out to me by a friend. Here are several of their pointers...
Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

Will there be a television in the bedroom?

If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
How ridiculous are some of these? Call me old fashioned but marriage is about going through life's obstacles together and dealing with them when the time comes. The 'television in the bedroom debate' is certainly doesn't cause any divorces. Either way, most people live together before marriage. If not, then they understand each other's habits beforehand, and have a general idea of what to expect. Marriage is just the next step in an already established relationship.

No one in the real world asks these fickle questions of their partner. Which is why I find these lists and questionnaires so amusing. Its understood that problems will be dealt with. I'll be honest, though I have no experience on marriage itself, I know one is supposed to compromise in relationships. And this compromise is reached only after endless discussions, arguments, withdrawal, fights and so on. That's part of the game and part of the package. All in all, the article presented amusing, if not practical suggestions.

4 comments:

Cocaine said...

i dont know omar - some of these questions do strike home with me. I think marriage is such a huge commitment that some of the things like career moves, financial arrangements etc should be discussed explicitly. However the TV in the room is the most stupid thing I hav ever heard. But a discussion about most of these points, in my opinion, is a good idea

omar said...

Thanks for the comments!

Its a valid point you make. Finances, career goals, kids names, number, religion and all need to be discussed prior to marriage. But those are a given. I would be surprised if people marry without considering them beforehand. Perhaps people don't actually discuss these issues and this article is geared to help them.

Either way, this article did have some interesting suggestion and some not so useful. I wrote up a conclusion to this article too..hmm where I said that. Where did it go?

Taaha Haq said...

frined.. u mean your brother

omar said...

I was respecting your privacy in the blogosphere...